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Seattle Star's
“ M A R V E L O U S   C R I T T E R S   O F   P U G E T   S O U N D
(  H Y P E R T E X T   E D I T I O N  )
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THE STAR—SATURDAY, APRIL 19, 1913
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ALAS! WHAT’S THE USE? LICENSE FOR AQUARIUM BLOCKED BY JEALOUSY
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    Our fondest hopes have been austed. The S. P. C. to I. F. has turned down Prof. Phish Phaquer’s application for an aquarium license, for the proposed exhibitions rooms here.
The Keyhole Crab.
    There is some mystery about the reversal, which followed a star chamber session, but it was rumored that the real underlying cause is that a smaller aquarium license has been applied for by the Panama exposition, and the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Indigent Fishes live at San Francisco, sectional jealousy probably has a lot to do with it.
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    It is admitted that with its superior supply of rare fish, Seattle would get most of the crowd in 1915 could these fish be placed on exhibition here.
    As a farewell shot, we published the afare of the keyhole crab, a rare and valuable specimen not to be found at Dungeness.
    “ Star Fish Editor: Since a true and ardent fisherman has extolled the virtues of the salvage sucker, I think it opportune to speak of the valuable ally that makes the salvage sucker’s work so successful. I refer to the keyhole crab (Pinchus Virginianus). For, without its help to pick the lock, how could the sucker salvage a wreck?
    “The keyhole crab is spider-shaped and fits nicely into a watch-case; it has a pompadour-like thatch of hair; has an eye on the end of each leg; it walks with a ragging movement; it breathes through its ears.
    “These crabs are easy to keep; eat only three keyholes a week of the long kind, or five of the round kind; will sleep overnight in a glass of water, like a set of false tenth.
    “They are handy for a man who stays out late and forgets his key. All he need do is put the lock under water and the crab will do the rest.
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“Your’s for an aquarium,
“D’UNGENESQUE RABB, “Ballard.”
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